salsa mama BLOG
'cause Mama's always got something to say....
I often ponder what my "survival foods" would be and ask others about theirs. The definition is simple....it doesn't have to be an actual survival food (like to keep one alive) but more like "if you had to pick just one food to eat for the rest of your life---one you would never tire of---what *could* you survive on with no complaints?"
I know you might suspect I'd say Velveeta or Salsa Mama salsa. Nope. It's peanut butter. Notice the tall iced tea spoon sticking out the top. Classy, I know.
I don't know if I can over state my fondness for PB. Seriously, people. My husband recently said something like "Wow, you've really put a hurt on that jar of peanut butter. Didn't we just buy that???"
I really should have given it up for Lent, but that sacrifice might be too much.
I mention this because there have been some seriously desperate salsa fans this year. I mean, I'm really happy you enjoy it. I just hope you haven't crossed over into the "Salsa Mama is my survival food" category. Like what would you do if you were flying somewhere for Spring Break? You can't take it on the plane nor can it be shipped to your destination, so you would, I guess, not survive. Yikes! I can't have that on me.
My goal is that your Salsa Mama delivery or market visit makes you super happy, grateful, and even JOYFUL. Let’s not cross over into the dark side. Let’s avoid family arguments ("Honey! That salsa was supposed to be for dinner with your parents!!! Now our night is RUINED!") and refrain from secretive behavior, which I’ve had to gently mentioned before ("Wow, uh...I really don't know how that ended up in the back corner of the garage fridge behind all of that tall Smart Water. Weird!").
how that ended up in the back corner of the garage fridge behind all of that tall Smart Water. Weird!").
The salsa spirit should bring you TOGETHER in a healthy, happy way. In troubled waters on that front? Maybe you just need a "standing up in the kitchen chips-n-salsa dinner" to make up. Don't just SURVIVE, but THRIVE!
Awaiting your orders for Spring Break, if you're in town or can travel with it, that is!! :) Home delivery THURSDAY, March 19, 2020! Email email@example.com!
Hello Salsa Mama fans!!!
In a recent weekly email, I promised to do a big reveal of my secret love of Velveeta, so here goes:
I ❤️ Velveeta. I really, really do.
Have you noticed that with Super Bowl approaching, Velveeta is pretty much everywhere?
Here, for example, it has it’s own section, including an extra rolling cart:
and here, it's at the very entrance of Dillons, like even before you get your shopping cart:
and here it appears in Grammy’s famous Broccoli Cheese Soup, made today:
TBH, I actually kind of wanted to make Ro-Tel today, but just felt in my bones like I should wait ’til Super Bowl Sunday. However, as you can see, there is no shortage of Velveeta in there, so it’s pretty much broccoli Ro-Tel.
Speaking of Ro-Tel, I’ve been asked several times lately about subbing in Salsa Mama. Wouldn’t it make the BEST cheese dip EVER???
Hmmmm…🤔...I’m not quite sure how Mama feels about that.
As a Ro-Tel/Velveeta purist, it’s hard to imagine my baby swimming around in America's favorite “pasteurized prepared cheese product.” Not only would the "Ro-Tel" taste different (blaspheme!) but it may elicit remorse for not saving more salsa for the simple dip o’ the chip.
Hey, I’m not here to micromanage your salsa consumption. However you choose to enjoy it, it’s a WIN!!!
Okay, let’s run this play. I’m ready to receive orders! $6 delivered pints (Friday) or $5 pick up (Friday/Sat)!
P.S. This email was co-written with the ORIGINAL Salsa Papa himself, my dad, Dan! :)
I was digging around online for a “salsa makes your New Year’s Eve even better” meme. I was sure that the perfect image would —poof!— magically appear before my very eyes.
What DID appear were 81 fancy salsa events of the dancing variety across the US of A. See below for screenshot proof.
Now, if you’re a member of the Dante Alighieri Society or heading to the Hooter’s in Hackensack, I know you’ll have a heckofa time, for real. Live it up and dance the night away!
For the rest of you, have you considered this question....
Does New Year’s Eve have to be fancy, or could it just involve some comfy lounge pants, snuggling up with your spouse/kids/dogs, eating some chips and salsa, laughing and being silly and maaaaybe singing Auld Lang Syne (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wPnhaGWBnys) at the “real” midnight?
If option 2 is your jam, you know where to find the good salsa.
I’m delivering on Tuesday 1/31 with $6 pints. I ❤️ Venmo for payment: @Erin-Schneider-13
If you’d like to save $1 per pint, indicate “pick up” on your order and I’ll load up the cooler in the secret spot. Not even the folks in the fancy dancy Dante Alighieri Society know where that is. 😎
Wishing you a delightful Christmas season and a blessed 2020!
I'm slipping into a meme habit. No, it’s nothing like a nun’s habit. It’s more colorful than that.
I can’t help it. These memes are so dang funny AND effective for promoting my dual endeavors--Melt & Mold and Salsa Mama.
I have run into a little meme-related bump in the road, however. It's pretty serious, actually.
Neither of my “businesses” (when Googled) produce the intended memes. For example, Google image “Salsa Mama meme” and you get this:
It’s cute and all, but that’s not the salsa I’m talkin’ bout.
Venmo is equally problematic. Shoot, the folks there probably think I have a dance studio with all the 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 that keep popping up when people pay me.
Using “Melt and Mold meme” (not that I thought there would actually be a Melt & Mold meme, but....) produces this:
This does nothing for my Melt & Mold business, and only gives me mom-guilt for never doing crafts with my kids.
I was starting to despair over this meme-not-matching problem, but then [cue inspirational music] discovered a meme that synthesizes both worlds perfectly.
There's gotta be a bowl of chips and salsa juuuust off of RS's right elbow and surely he just finished stretching, strengthening and possibly foam rolling. This captures everything. Now I just need to have my graphic design team get to personalizin’ it for the Salsa Mama/Melt & Mold merger.
Until then….who needs salsa delivery this week?? Most orders will be delivered FRIDAY so your salsa will be fresh for Chief's watching on Sunday.
As always, pints are $6. Cash/check/Venmo (@Erin-Schneider-13). Want to grab salsa AND visit the best market EVER, come to Lenexa Farmer’s Market Saturday morning 8:00-12:00!
Dance on, my friends, and don't forget the CHIPS!!
Imagine that you're my daughter, Sofia, and you're innocently plating your dinner. Next thing ya know, it's a pool of barbecue sauce. Woopsie* daisy!
More relevant to the topic at hand, let's say you're in your kitchen with a fresh pint of Salsa Mama and your favorite chips when all of a sudden you realize you can already see the bottom of the salsa container. Oops*! It happens.
Hey, the reason I know it happens is that I hear the stories--little mini-confessions--on a regular basis and receive photos of nearly empty salsa containers quite often.
You really don't need to feel bad, salsa fans. The salsa is low carb/no added sugar (thank you to my friends at Three Bears Bakery & BBQ who gave it the thumbs up!) and it's very low in calories. Basically, like Sofia's plate here, it's full of healthy veggies. 🙂
*Side note....You know that Siri and I don't always speak the same language, as noted in previous posts. I get downright cranky with her sometimes. For example, have you EVER tried to voice text the word "OOPS?" Try it! Go ahead! It almost never works. Today my hubby and I did an experiment. Here are the results, when saying "oops," or variations thereof, loud and clear:
(Cover your ears, kids...) Boobs
Hoops he (who says this?)
(and finally!) Oops
Speaking of "finally," let's talk SALSA DELIVERY for a moment. Don't forget that Thursday is USUALLY Salsa Mama delivery day. Contact me via email, text or FB! To pay by Venmo, use @Erin-Schneider-13.
I’m taking a poll, so please raise your hand if you HAVE or have EVER had:
1) bagel slicer?
2) soft pretzel maker with cheese warmer?
3) banana slicer or hang stand? (Anything banana related)
4) strawberry huller?
5) battery-powered twirling spaghetti fork?
Kitchen gadgets are so tempting, aren’t they?
They promise so much ease, so much **fun**, such excitement in the kitchen--until they end up in the donation pile, anyway. Once in a while, however, a gadget comes along that breaks through and becomes part of the kitchen landscape. It’s used so often that it makes no sense to keep it anywhere but the countertop.
My frIends, meet the Pizzazz. She's a beaut, isn't she? Most online images of her show a frozen pizza on that baking surface, but I didn't want to confuse you. She's more than just a pizza maker.
Imagine that huge appliance on my countertop spinning with corn tortillas topped with Chao (dairy free) cheese getting all bubbly. This really did happen in real life, just the other day. While the Pizzazz was working its magic, I scrambled some eggs, onions, ham and bacon, ramekined my salsa, and within minutes had this:
It tasted muy delicioso…way better than it looks. Y'all know my food photos are a weak link. Like, why didn’t I throw some fresh cilantro on there? I need my brother’s help next time.
Anyway, back to the Pizzazz.
My parents gifted one to us recently and it really HAS delivered on the promise of ease, fun and excitement in the kitchen. I may even describe it as life-changing, but surely that sounds ridiculous.
People, you need one of these!
In addition to my kids’ sweet favorites--brown-sugar toast and indoor s’mores--the Pizzazz produces a plethora of delights that are even BETTER with salsa—quesadillas, street tacos, quick nachos, and much, much more. I just had to share, as like any mama, I just want you to be happy. :)
Needing salsa?? You can find us most TUESDAYS (9:00 am-1:00 pm) and SATURDAYS (8:00-noon) at the Lenexa Farmer’s Market. PEACHES are now in from Sunflower Orchard in Paola, KS. Is there a better summer fruit????
P.S. Don’t forget to follow on Instagram @salsa_mama_salsa and another recommendation…the folks at the Lenexa Farmer’s Market do a great job of promoting the events, vendors and info. Check out their website and follow them on IG & FB!
May you continue having a wonderful summer, and may the chips and salsa never run out!!
Predictability. We love it, crave it, need it. Yessiree Bob. We want to know what is going to happen, when, where, why and how.
As the years roll on, I'm learning to see more value in the unexpected to add color, zest, and joy to our lives. With 4 kids and too many animals to count, our family has lots of practice in expecting the unexpected!
Like these little surprises, but on a much bigger scale, Salsa Mama's recent growth is
unexpected...delightful...a huge blessing.
As I stood at the Lenexa Farmer's Market last Saturday and looked around, I just couldn't help but smile. The market organizers (Jenny, Brenda and Connie) have been SO helpful. My hubby and I (and kids!) are enjoying this adventure together. The fellow vendors have been warm and welcoming. We are excited to see where this adventure leads! It wouldn't be possible without the years of loyalty from the original Salsa Mama family.
THANK YOU from ALL of us!! We are so grateful.
To enter to win a FREE pint of salsa, simply comment on this post with an unexpected delight of your own---it can be funny, quirky, serious or bizarre. Your choice!
As always, salsa will still be available for delivery on Thursdays in Shawnee, Lenexa, and Bonner areas, so use the link below to order!